Friday, June 16, 2006

Eureka: Commodes for Men!

Men pee standing…Women pee sitting, which is why men with good manners lift the toilet seat up before they pee.

Problem No.1: Not all men have good manners.


From their formative years, train men to be gentlemen by lifting the toilet seat up before they answer the “watery call of nature (a.k.a. No.1)” (along with the much needed civility of respecting women). But this solves only a part of the problem.

Problem No. 2: Even if you take men who have the courtesy to lift the seat up, most of them suck at AIMING. You get so much of space to do it without messing around…But Nooooo…some of them just have to do it all around the place. So, if a woman has to share a toilet with such a man at home or use a common toilet at work, she cannot sit and pee in peace, coz she knows, even if the toilet seat is clean, what is underneath is far from it .

You can’t make a guy sit and pee. Have you watched Mr. Schmidt?…who says men don’t hold grudges like women… they are worse… much worse. One of the first things that the old Mr. Schmidt (played by Jack Nicholson) does after his wife passes away is peeing while standing…and spilling all over the place, just to spite his dead wife!)


I have an idea that will revolutionize the “Commode Making Industry (CMI)” (or whatever you call that). Put a little bit of research into helping the guys out. Here’s my analysis: The guys have so much space in a commode, right? Why not mathematically calculate the exact point in the commode that they can pee on, so that the pee doesn’t spray all around. I guess they will have to take into account, the thrust of the stream of pee as well. Maybe you can make a little game or something based on the pee-target so that the guys can feel like they achieved something if they manage to do their deed properly. Give a bit of a boost to their “machoness”… something that men need perpetually.

The CMI does not have to change their designs or waste too much time and money on fancy stuff… All they have to do is, do the math and put a dot…or paint a bull’s eye or something in their commodes (along with a little scoreboard!). I bet their sales will sky-rocket!

P:S: H does not have this problem.


At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's actually a grand idea, I just dont like the thought of a mark just underneath my butt when i sit on it, especially a Bulls EYE and what abt the lifespan of the mark ?? It cannot ever fade away!
U know some ppl CLIMB on the loopot and squat... the phantom footprints.
Over here in public loos' (womens) there's always a queue, coz everyone spends atleast 2 mins CLEANING before actually doin what they went in for. Now they put this disposable toilet cover thingy in some of the major malls.

So u're making headway, hope u get a seperate loo. It's easier than trying to potty-train grown (old) men.

At 11:38 PM, Blogger Butterfly said...

Yes you are right. The lifespan of the mark should be "forever". An imprint of some sort would be a better solution there I suppose.

At 12:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, very creative idea...and it actually might work as well! However, one must not forget there are competitive chicks out there as well, who want to better men in everything (anybody willing can put on this cap :P ). The day women start competing with men aiming at better scores at the loo (which might be considerably more challenging due to the physical constraints), we may just return back to square one...
And on Imi's comment, I recently got a mail with some pics of a "CLIMBER" whose commode had collapsed. She had cut herself so bad it freaked me out completely...


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