Eureka: Commodes for Men!

Men pee standing…Women pee sitting, which is why men with good manners lift the toilet seat up before they pee.

Problem No.1: Not all men have good manners.

Solution:

From their formative years, train men to be gentlemen by lifting the toilet seat up before they answer the “watery call of nature (a.k.a. No.1)” (along with the much needed civility of respecting women). But this solves only a part of the problem.

Problem No. 2: Even if you take men who have the courtesy to lift the seat up, most of them suck at AIMING. You get so much of space to do it without messing around…But Nooooo…some of them just have to do it all around the place. So, if a woman has to share a toilet with such a man at home or use a common toilet at work, she cannot sit and pee in peace, coz she knows, even if the toilet seat is clean, what is underneath is far from it .

You can’t make a guy sit and pee. Have you watched Mr. Schmidt?…who says men don’t hold grudges like women… they are worse… much worse. One of the first things that the old Mr. Schmidt (played by Jack Nicholson) does after his wife passes away is peeing while standing…and spilling all over the place, just to spite his dead wife!)

Solution:

I have an idea that will revolutionize the “Commode Making Industry (CMI)” (or whatever you call that). Put a little bit of research into helping the guys out. Here’s my analysis: The guys have so much space in a commode, right? Why not mathematically calculate the exact point in the commode that they can pee on, so that the pee doesn’t spray all around. I guess they will have to take into account, the thrust of the stream of pee as well. Maybe you can make a little game or something based on the pee-target so that the guys can feel like they achieved something if they manage to do their deed properly. Give a bit of a boost to their “machoness”… something that men need perpetually.

The CMI does not have to change their designs or waste too much time and money on fancy stuff… All they have to do is, do the math and put a dot…or paint a bull’s eye or something in their commodes (along with a little scoreboard!). I bet their sales will sky-rocket!





P:S: H does not have this problem.

Life without my beloved Bathroom

Yes…it is worse than HELL. I miss him so much. They said they will give him back in 7 days. It has been over 12 days since I last saw him. They said they will give him a total make-over. But they are taking too long. My mother says “be patient”. Enough is enough! I can’t take this no more! I miss him so much. Sob sob.

Happiness

Love. Family. Friends. Knowledge. Wisdom. Free thought. Ability to let go. No regrets. Being helpful. Cherish the simple things in life that I take for granted. Ability to see the good and the bad in people, appreciate their good, learn to deal with their bad. Defeat evil. Appreciate what I have.

hmmmm.... IBM T42, BOOKS (the list is too long), Samsung D410, oodles of cloths, shoes and handbags.

KIDS!

Today was a friends' birthday (Lady J). She is a proud mom of two beautiful, extremely hyperactive kids (both in the age range of about 3 to 5 yrs) and one of the coolest moms I’ve ever seen. A few friends met over coffee to celebrate her birthday along with her hubby and the kids. During the two hours we were there, the kids must have at least run one mile around the coffee shop (according to H’s apprx. calculations).
 
And I was thinking….Do I want one of those?
 
All of a sudden everything around me froze and I found myself in my kooky little world. I was at a shop, where they sell babies. And they had pictures of how each one is going to look like when they grow up. Among millions of pictures, I see a picture of the love of my life (H). And I tell the sales person….Yup, I’d like one of those…with the cute butt, bright eyes and the adorable smile. Oh and... don’t forget to throw-in some of that IQ and wit...Thank you....
 
Snap snap! I was back in the real world, as one of the kids slid off his seat and almost hit his head on the floor trying to imitate spider man.
 
Yep! I definitely want one of those.

The Ape and the Boobs

Male fascination towards the female breasts (as we all know) has been there from the beginning of time… e.g. Talking to an ape… (a few seconds into the conversation)…hey dude, I'm up here!!! It's like the eye balls just drop. The worse thing you get is that ogle, as if you can't see what he is doing. Eeeeeeks. Don't you get enough of all those instances of the 'boob class' you see EVERYDAY on the streets, your workplace, HOME? Guess not, Pam Anderson will be out of a job the day that happens and Alley McBeal will finally get the man of her dreams (btw, is that going to happen at the end?). Uuuurgh… I give up.

I am not being a hypocrite here. We don't wear those low-cut neck-lines not to be admired. But can you make it a little more subtle and lay off the "cave man routine"? (whack on the head) Get over it already…